Periods. Yes, you read it right.

If the following content offends you in any manner, i suggest you take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror.

PERIODSSSSS.
BLOOOOOOOOOOD.
MENSTRUATION.

Welcome to Biology 101.
Today we debunk myths about periods.

Question 1: Will Mata Devi be annoyed if i enter the temple when i'm on my period?
Answer : No, Mata Devi doesn't give a fuck.

Question 2: Is a menstruating woman impure and evil?
Answer : Possibly, because  her period led to your birth.

I don't know. I am a lucky girl, i live a society which is somewhat accepting of the bodily processes of a female. But I recently read this rather disturbing article on the state of menstruating women and how they are treated, and the reliefs available to them. This ill treatment is not concentrated to any one area, but infact is one of the most pressing issues of underdeveloped and developing countries. The saddest part is, it's not even recognised as a problem.

to be honest, it's infuriating. How backward we are about certain issues. I realise that it's probably the lack of education that leads people to blindly follow nonsensical traditions and engage in preposterous taboos, but lack of this education also does not justify these actions. The way some women are treated during those days of the month is inhuman. It is outright inhuman. They are banished from their houses for those 5 days, and they are expected to stay there irrespective of the kind of conditions outside. They are attacked by animals and men, who conveniently decide that while a menstruating female is impure, it is okay to rape her. They don't have access to sanitary napkins and are treated like untouchables. They are fed only boiled rice and this food is thrown to them like garbage in a dustbin.

Periods are a thing. They are natural and healthy. They are a GOOD thing, even though it may not seem like it at times. Periods are nothing but disposal of the inner lining of the uterus that the body creates to prepare itself for child birth. Lack of periods would mean that this lining is not formed in the first place.No periods, no childbirth, no continuation of the human kind. Each and every woman, irrespective of her caste, social status, residence, of it all, is brave to go through it. It is about time that this fact was celebrated, and people stopped treating women like shit for everything. 

Your Guide to Being Cool

So I'm sure a lot of you pathetic people are forever on a quest to be cool. I, very graciously, have taken upon myself to provide you with a comprehensive list on just how to do that. This is, by no means, however, the complete list. There are always weirder things one can do to become popular and the instigator of envy within everyone around them.

It should be noted that halfway across this list, you may start to believe I am being sarcastic. Of course I'm not sarcastic though. Obviously. Sarcasm? Me? Never. Ever. Ever Ever Ever.

Now then, since that has been established. Let's get on with it, shall we?

1.  If it’s not on Instagram, it didn’t happen. You may have brushed your teeth but unless it's your #picoftheday, how will I ever know? Is there really any proof? For all I know, you haven't brushed your teeth since the last 5 days.
2. Bad grammar is sexy. Always. Abbreviating already short words is even sexier. For example, 'ThanQ 4 readin mah blog' is possibly the best way i can thank you for, um, reading my blog.
3.  Any climatic change needs to broadcasted on at least 2 social media platforms. If it rained, did you Snapchat it? Yes? But did you post about it on Instagram and Facebook though? Stop leaving things incomplete. Being cool isn't that easy.
4. Rule for Life: Everyone wants to see at least 10 selfies (per day) of you. Their day is not complete without it. Really. Ask them. The number of fucks they give is so high, it's unbelievable.
5.  Caption should ALWAYS be in hashtags. Hashtags bring up the stud level by almost 5 times #really #no kidding #tryityourself #diy #wowmuchcool #suchsweg
6. Facebook needs to treated as personal diary. Always. I mean, Mark Zuckerberg intended Facebook to be treated as a means of bitching about your boyfriend. Look it up if you don’t believe me, really. It's written in his autobiography called 'What Monsters Have I created'.
7. If the caption is not deep, it will not portray your genuinely philosophical personality. If you can't see Adele rolling in it, it's not deep enough (This deserves self five though)
8. Clothes are not bought for the purpose of wearing, they are brought for the purpose of showing people that you, um, bought clothes.
9. If even the filters can’t make that picture look pretty, you should probably not upload it.
10. Gym selfies are a must. Because that’s what Gyms were made for. What do you mean people go there to exercise! Noobs (no, auto correct, I don't mean boobs jeez)

Follow these to have you coolness level multiplied by infinity.*

Bonus tip : However what will make the absolute coolest is cribbing about it on a blog which literally one person reads and continue to be obsessed with social media.
You are welcome, World.

*I'm aware the answer would be not defined. Teehee. #MATHPUNS

It will never really end, will it?

I think it's pretty well established that being a female in India is not very easy.

Crimes against women, it's kind of a never ending story. 

Everyday, the newspapers say the same thing.

Everyday, we listen.

Everyday, we watch.

Everyday, we observe.

Everyday, we live with it.

Everyday, we forget about it,

Lighting candles and protesting is great, but who did they help? Because crimes haven't stopped. They haven't stopped. They probably will never. 

This statement is not coming from a place of cynicism, but rather a crude sense of reality. 

It is ingrained in our very values and traditions. 

We're hypocrites.

We blame the men? The system? The law enforcing entity?

You'd think us females would stick together, right? When this is how grave the situation has become, one would think there must be some sense of unity among the female-kind. That's the sad part, right there. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it is completely the fault of females, but

don't you see mothers wishing for a son? Having kids till a son is born? Giving him more freedom than the daughter? Don't tell me it is something unknown to you. Tell me you haven't heard a GIRL say that some other girl looks like a slut. Don't tell me you haven't heard someone say that a certain girl is 'easy' because 'woh toh smoke aur drink bhi karti hai'. 

Our very roots are based on a patriarchal set up, and we only fight it when it becomes an inconvenience.

Why does the bride's family have to give dowry? Doesn't the groom have a mother? Marriages are for companionship, not money. But does she fight against it? Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about, because THIS is the system. There are exceptions, but this is the rule. This is the system WE have created. 

We CAN stop it, but we won't. You know why? because we are used to it. Used to seeing it and hearing about it. 

Should I even begin to talk about the male mentality? I wonder if I should go there. But I think we all know enough. More than we'd like to. More than enough to keep us afraid  being out of the house.

It may sound silly, but why do girls half their age surround male celebrities whenever they make an entrance? Why do shows like Splitsvilla exist, where women are objectified to a great extent and yet people watch it? Something I found highly disturbing was the recent advertisement for Axe Boat Party.

Here is something about advertisements. They are made keeping in mind the audience, and what will catch their attention. And apparently, bikini clad girls 'seeking Indian men' to go crazy on a boat party is anticipated to catch the attention of the Indian masses. Is it just me? Am I the only one who finds it absolutely horrific and almost tragic?

We've become so obsessed with 'showing' we support and pretending we care, we've forgotten how to actually care. . 

I'm a female. I'm an Indian. I'm proud to be both. But I probably would've been happier being one outside India. 

Who was She?

She was, in a word, mesmerising, and her smile lit up the place. It was contagious, and she made other people smile. She was strong and brave, she was fearless. She was confident, and fought for what she believed in. She was determined, and faced each problem with her head held high. When she spoke, people listened. She inspired them, she helped them. She was amazing. Her big eyes were filled with dreams and hopes, which she was determined to fulfill. She was a good listener, and people turned to her in their time of need. She was beautiful in every way one could be. She was considerate and people looked upto her. They respected her and her opinion. She was not afraid to be who she was, she wasn't ashamed of herself. She was confident and sure of herself. It wasn't like she was perfect, but the people around her accepted her mistakes and the only thing she took from them was the experience- not sorrow and pain. She wasn't perfect but she was so much more. She made a difference by existing.

I saw her, time and again, in my dreams. What was she? Who was she? Was she only a figment of my imagination? The next time I saw her, I stared into her beautiful black eyes. Time stood still, she looked back at me just as intently as I stared at her, and the truth of this entity dawned upon me. I knew her. I had always known her. She wasn't just a figment of my imagination- she was me!

She was me, the me I've always wished I could be.

Unconventional Ways

Let me put this out there. See, I'm not a writer as such. I don't use big words, I don't sound intellectual or sophisticated. I just string words together to pen down what goes in my kind of empty head and make it into something which could somewhat make sense.
_______

Have you ever wondered if you're alone?
That you're the only person with sorrows and pain? The only person who's ever been hurt? The only one with regrets? When you see people around you laughing and smiling, do you wonder if they have been hurt too? Are they unhappy, but doing a very good job at hiding it? Do they just look happy, but are drowning inside?
*
He heard screams. He heard them everyday, should've been used to by now. Rahul heard his parents fighting over something trivial yet again. He tried so hard, running from it and blocking it all out. He'd lock himself in his room, but no matter what he tried, he couldn't forget.
*
He woke up to his mother sobbing beside him. It was like his own version of a morning alarm.
"Mom, you okay?" he asked her the same question he did everyday.
"I'm sorry I woke you up, I'm okay." the same reply he got everyday.
Rahul's mother left his room for him to get ready for school. Even though he didn't have any friends, he liked school. it was his distraction. he was probably the only one who ever listened in class but studies over shouting and crying, any day. As he sat in his bus, he recalled the events of last night.

'You can't do anything right, can you?' his dad shouted.
'Maybe that's why I married you!' his mother retorted.
'For heaven's sake, Rahul's sleeping in the next room.' his Father reasoned.
'You think he doesn't know? That he can't hear us?' mom said.
'Look, we need to work it out. for his sake.' dad said.
that did it.
'WORK THIS OUT? YOU CHEATED ON ME AND I NEED TO WORK IT OUT? ARE YOU INSANE?'

"Uh excuse me? Mind if I sit here?" A voice broke Rahul's reverie. It was Niharika. She was in his class. They had never talked before, except an occasional 'Can I borrow a pen?' 'Could you pass me that?'. There didn't seem to be another empty seat in the bus and Rahul nodded his head and let her sit.

"Congrats."
"I'm sorry?" Rahul asked, confused.
"Maths UT? You topped again?" Niharika replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Thanks."

It was nothing new. Rahul always topped in Maths. He didn't have many friends and there wasn't much to do. Studying was a way to pass time.
*
People always talked to Niharika. She was friends with everyone. She tried so hard to make a conversation with the guy sitting next to her but he won't budge. When they reached the school, Niharika was glad that this awkward silence-filled journey was finally over.
*
Rahul had not felt like it at the time, but later felt guilty about not talking properly to Niharika in the bus. After much thought, he thought he'd apologise. He saw her standing alone and called her.

"Niharika! I'm sorry. I mean, I may have come off as rude, I was a bit preoccupied, but I didn't mean to..."
"It's alright, can I ask you something?" Niharika asked. Rahul nodded.
"What were you thinking about? I mean, you were crying. or, I don't know, your eyes were water-y."

how he longed to tell her! His father was cheating on his mother, his mother became an alcoholic. They fought all the time. he believed it was his fault! He wanted to tell her he couldn't take it anymore, the guilt. He wanted to tell her about the suicide note he had once written but couldn't through with it. how it had made him feel like a coward, not being able to do the one thing he could to rid his parents of all their problems.

"Oh nothing, just the chemistry test next week." he said instead.
"Liar." Niharika said, and walked off.

Rahul thought about Niharika. She was the first person who had cared enough to ask. He thought of what he had heard about her, that she was sweet and considerate. He didn't know what had prompted him, but he decided to tell her.
*
Niharika was happily gazing out the window of the schoolbus when Rahul suddenly came upto her.

"I lied." Rahul quickly said.
"I figured."
"You need to promise me you won't tell anyone about it.and the last thing I want is pity, okay? I just need to get it off my chest." Rahul said with a strained expression, as if thinking about it hurt him, Niharika thought.

Rahul continued. "It's me.I'm the reason they fight. They'd kill each other if they could, Niharika." and he burst into tears. Niharika had never seen anyone so vulnerable, and as much as she wanted to stay with him, the bus had reached her stop. She quickly told him to meet her at Starbucks and left the bus.
*
Rahul reached 5 minutes early, but saw Niharika already sitting there.
"I'd say sorry for being late but I'm actually early so..." Rahul smiled. after ages.
Niharika just smiled back and Rahul continued, "I'm sorry for what happened in the bus."
"That's okay, but what was it about?"

Rahul took a deep breath and decided this was it, "Don't say anything till I say I'm done."
Niharika nodded.

"My parents were in love. They were in college. They had just graduated when I was conceived. My grandmother was torn about it, she never approved of dad anyway. she told her it was a mistake and dad didn't want this either. he wanted to become something first. Both dad and granny wanted my mom to get an abortion, but mom was adamant. Even though dad didn't want this, he asked mom to marry him and took a job near home to be with us.Things went crazy when mom had post pregnancy issues and somewhere along the line, dad started blaming her for all problems. It became too much. He blamed her for everything he had ever given up and mom, no less, started drinking alot and became an alcoholic. They started fighting alot and things got extremely bad. I didn't understand any of it initially but soon i started to. they abused each other and what not. mom even once said that maybe she shouldn't have brought me into this world. about a year back, i attempted suicide. I wrote a letter too, in which i wrote i was sorry i had played such a huge role in this, but i couldn't do it. i was scared. i'm such a coward. mom cries all the time and dad only talks to me when i need to buy something." after a second, he added, "I'm done."

Niharika looked at him, not with pity but as if she understood. Rahul didn't exactly know what was on her mind but he was glad he had told her. he couldn't believe how relieved he felt. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to respond.

"Will you share a chocolate muffin with me? i can't have the whole thing."and just like that, that conversation was over.
*
it took everything for Niharika to not cry at that moment. she couldn't believe anyone could be alone and so hurt. she knew he didn't have any other friends, and that is exactly what he needed. he wouldn't have to go through it alone anymore.
"Could you tutor me in Maths? I barely passed in this one. pleasee?" she asked Rahul.
after a second, Rahul replied. "sure."
*
Rahul was in utter confusion. how could she act as if she had heard nothing? he'd ask her himself. after about an hour of studying, he blurted out, "there's nothing you want to say?"

"I'm glad you didn't go through with it. the suicide, i mean. it doesn't make you a coward. it makes you brave."
*
For the next 2 months, they studied together- studied, talked, laughed, even. Niharika sure improved her Maths, and Rahul became happier. They started spending more time together and no matter what happened, once Rahul told about it to Niharika, he'd be okay. She had made him realise that it wasn't his fault, and that he had a choice. She made him realise that the day he decided he wanted to be happy, he would be. Rahul could have a normal life, it was possible for him.
*
Rahul woke upto his mother crying beside him. This was the last straw.
"Mom, why do you drink?"
His mother was speechless, and he continued,
"it isn't going to help, you know? i'm sorry i've caused you so much trouble but it doesn't have to be this way. you and dad don't have to be together if you don't want to be."
His mother was to shocked to respond, and continued sobbing.

That night, he heard a knock on his bedroom's door. it was his dad. Rahul was puzzled, he couldn't remember the last time his dad had tried to talk to him.
"Your mother told me about this morning. I'm sorry, beta." his dad said quietly.
Rahul didn't know how to respond.
"I don't know if I should share all this with you, son, but I don't feel the same way anymore. I've come to regret marrying your mother, and everything I've had to give up. Somewhere, I blame you too, even though I know it's not your fault. I can't help it, I wish I could. We are  together only  because of you."
"Dad, I appreciate it, but you and mom haven't done me any good by staying together. Mom's always crying. you don't talk to me. Look at us, we are strangers living under the same roof. I hear what you say to each other, and until recently, I cried myself to sleep. I even considered hanging myself from this very fan, too. I'm not complaining but the point is, you can't make others happy if you aren't happy yourself. "

They sat in silence, and Rahul could swear he saw a tear glisten as it streamed down his dad's cheek.
*
"Niharika, let's go for a walk! I don't feel like teaching today, and it's not like you need it anymore either!" Rahul happily chirped, when he met Niharika the next day.
Niharika laughed, "Hi there, someone seems to be very happy."
Rahul narrated last night's incident to Niharika, "...and this morning, they told me they have decided to split up."
"You seem happy about it." Niharika commented.
"Ofcourse, you know how terrible they were together. Hopefully they'll be happy now, and stop blaming each other,and I don't feel guilty anymore either!" he said as he hugged her.
*
It was crazy, how Niharika had fallen for Rahul without even intending to. she was in love with him, she knew that well enough  after all this time. she felt happy, happy that he was content.
"Thanks Niharika, for everything. I don't know if I could have survived this without you. " Rahul told her sincerely.
"Anytime, Rahul. What's wrong with you? you don't have to thank me for it!"
"What's wrong with me? what's wrong with you, Niharika? You have to be blind to not see how much I need you and how much I love you."

Somewhere, he had fallen in love with Niharika too.

________

I SUCK AT LIFE : Part I

IT'S FREAKING CRAZY.
I don't think I'm normal. Why? Here's why.

Reason #1
Okay so, hi, I'm in 11th grade. I have a Maths exam day after tomorrow. No, my syllabus isn't complete. Why, yes, I should be worried. Oh no, I'm no genius when it comes to Maths (or anything else, except maybe stalking Youtubers...tch tch). You mean, I should go and study? But, see, you don't get it. I don't JUST procrastinate. I'm like, the QUEEN of Procrastination (Well atleast I'm good at something? hahah silver linings and shit!). I do things so I can delay doing other things. Let me explain. As I mentioned earlier, I have my exams going on. What do I do? I clean my cupboard. I download movies I've wanted to watch. I read books. I start designing my own effing T Shirts but I do not, absolutely do not study. good job *pats her back*


Reason #2 
There are things that don't change no matter how hard i try.
I. I can't do the things I want to do after the exams get over BEFORE the exams get over. but na-uh, I spend my time planning my post-exams days. I'm making plans for everything, except studying.
II. I am going to embarrass myself no matter what i do so i should really even stop trying
III. I won't be able to keep my cupboards clean for more than 2 days why even try?
IV. no matter how many times i make a resolution to stay fit i'm going to sit on my fat bum and stay online all day
etc.

Reason #3
Okay is it just me? I get this random urge to suddenly dress up. my plan for the day may be sleeping and eating, but no, I get ready as if I'm going to a party(You won't believe the day I had! Man, today was crazy, I had like four burgers and slept for about 8 hours straight!). And what do I say when mom asks me if I'm going somewhere? It's awkward,  "No mom, I got ready because i plan to sleep all day." smooth.

Reason #4 
I chew on borrowed pencils and/or lose borrowed stationery. It's a miracle people still respond to me when i ask for an extra pen (which happens pretty much every day) . You know, I don't own a pencil case. since I have to get my own stationery for an exam, i keep it in my pocket. and then i forget. and then it gets washed, and that's altogether another story...

Reason #5
I don't 'Like' or 'Dislike' I either 'I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MARRY ME AND LET'S PLAY BALL IN THE PARK WITH OUR ADOPTED PUP' (this could be meant for a guy, a website, clothes, accessories and pretty much everything) or 'I HOPE YOU FREAKING DIE IN HELL AND THEN SOMEONE FRIES YOU IN HOT OIL AND MAKE FRITTERS OUT OF YOUR REMAINS' (again, it could be meant for anything) If something falls in neither of the above mentioned categories for me, they fall in the 'WAIT, I FORGOT YOU EXISTED' category. Needless to say, this does become a problem at times.

Reason #6
Related to #5. Guess what happens when I get obsessed with something? I recently started following two British Youtubers (Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil).They're freakin' amazing by the way. any way, I mean i can't JUST watch their recent videos, right, my sole reason for existence is watching every video that is somehow related to them. it does not help that they have 2 channels each, 1 combined channel and have their own radio show on BBC Radio 1 whose channel posts Dan and Phil videos. I realised I could watch them and listen to them, but I can't listen to them LIVE. So ofcourse I had to download an application that would help me listen to UK radio. and you know what time it was where I live while they were on? 2.30 am. and I had an exam to give the next day but gah who cares about that right? So much pressure, how do I study with all this going around now? (Can you sense the sarcasm? Do you see how angry I am at myself?)

Reason #7
My life is a mess. take it literally because you should see the condition of my room. and mind you, if by some chance it looks clean, don't try opening my cupboards because you may die (by getting hit by the avalanche of books and clothes that are going to fall upon you).

You can probably make out that this isn't it, there's much more messed-upness to me. Part 2, coming up soon!